Recently I’ve been feeling more and more like I don’t really belong here.. I feel like I’m from another plane of existence, maybe even another planet.
I’m getting increasingly confused and pissed off by the things people do. I cannot find a reason for their behavior, and when I discuss with my brain in hopes of getting an explanation, it just seems to be an infinite loop. I cannot find conclusions. Why people do what they do, what made them do it, how they convinced themselves to do it, and what they had hoped to achieve by doing what they did. Like when people insist on squeezing into an already packed bus, end up being stuck at the door and making it impossible for the driver to close the doors and in turn wasting everyone’s(themselves included) time. What is achieved with such behavior? Why not just wait for the next bus? Same goes for lifts.
Why not let other people out of the lifts (and trains too!) first before jostling in? 1) If you let people out first, that means more space for you to be in 2) The lift isn’t going anywhere if the people already inside haven’t gotten out! What will that few seconds of getting into the carriage first, before letting people out, do for them? What would it do for everyone? NOTHING! How does it make squishing and squashing worth it? Why do people do it?!
Also my laughing and crying points are really different from most people I know. Say, someone tells a joke and everyone bursts out laughing except me. It’s not that I don’t get the joke, it’s just I don’t find it funny. And like when I watched A Walk to Remember, most people say that the scene where Jamie told Landon she had leukemia made them cry. I didn’t shed a tear. I actually cried more when I watched The Princess Diaries 1&2 than A Walk to Remember. Yea.
There’s so much more that makes me feel like I just don’t belong here but I must get to finding my mothership.