I really have you to thank. You, who will never see this. You opened my eyes to the world. Good thing you taught me early on in life.
I used to be quite the idealist, to a certain point I still am, but I am no longer as naive. I am now an idealist but also a realist, I’ve learnt because of you, to never let my thoughts get ahead of me, to dream, but to always expect the worst. Out of everything.
Like how there’s no such thing as forever, no such thing as indispensable. How promises are merely words, held in a waiting room, waiting to meet their fate. It only matters how big the holding room is, because in the end they will all be lost and broken. Like how even actions may not mean anything. There’s no point asking for a “prove it” because so what? Everything can become nothing. Everything that begins will end.
Thanks to you I’ve become stronger. I don’t know exactly if it’s strength or just numbness. Either way, it’s a nice firewall you’ve helped build there. Like when “good” things happen, I know I’m supposed to feel joy, but I know never to let it overtake me, because everything can become nothing. When “bad” things happen, I know I’m supposed to feel sad or hurt, but I don’t. I know the emotion is supposed to be there, but I can shrug it off. I can isolate it and ignore it because I have expected it and it doesn’t crumble me. I have learnt to always expect the worst right from the start.
For a while I thought this is sad, that I am no longer able to trust and to laugh without restraints, but I have found it useful in so many ways it’s become a part of me. Now, I find this ability; this numbness, a blessing. It doesn’t matter if this prevents me from living life to the fullest because what do you get from living life to the fullest?
‘Cause you and I, we were born to die- Lana Del Rey
Just a short recount of my 2ne1 New Evolution experience!
This concert is the first concert where I attended the sound check session.. so our day started out really early. Went to the SIS and we were so lost..I’ve also never attended a concert at the SIS on mosh pit level so I had no idea where the entrance was. Luckily I had a friend who had some kind of a clue so we got to the queue safely. We took our time and had no intention of being the first in line because it was our intention to stand at the back to prevent being squashed, so by the time we got to the queue it was like..whoa.
We waiting for quite a while..then finally got tagged and allowed in and it finally started! I saw 2ne1 in the flesh for the very first time in my life! Gosh they have too much swag..too much! The sound check session was quite expensive, $91 to hear 3 songs, but it was worth it. I mean, it’s not like I will spend this kind of money on just anyone. Of course, I waved my Bom corn board and I’m sure she saw it..hahaha~
After the sound check we braved the rain to buy some merchandise (lightstick + shirt), and I’m glad we did because after that it got SOLD OUT! Imagine if you were only going to attend the 7pm concert and when you arrive NONE of the merchandise are available anymore..very saddening.
Then we went for lunch and returned a few hours later for the actual concert. All I can say about the concert is WOW. WOW WOW WOW THANK HEAVENS I WENT. The stage was awesome and the girls were awesome! They even gave us and encore after encore because the Singapore 2ne1 fan club planned a surprise..to sing “Please Don’t Go” after the encore, and it happened. We sang, they heard us, they came out again and sang us another song!
Conclusion: SUPER DUPER AMAZING AND IF YOU MISSED IT IT’S REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, SUCH A LOSS.
I will go see them in Korea some day soon. SOON! I WILL! LET’S GO NOLZA!